Ten…. (or A Decade of the Sade….)

My first born turned ten this morning at 6:41 am.  Ten.  Myself, I’m in a bit of shock still.  I mean, I’ve known it was coming (she has reminded me quite often) but still.  Ten is a huge deal.  It means, among other things, that she really and truly is not a little girl anymore.  In our family she floats somewhere between team kids and team parents, easily fitting into either role.  While I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming, her lovely laugh (seriously she has the. best. laugh. ever) makes me look quickly at times, to see if I can still see the two year old in her. 

I will be perfectly honest and tell you all that this has been the hardest birthday yet for this Mama.  Goodness am I ever emotional today!  But this whole letting them grow up thing is hard!

My girl gave me a lovely gift last night….and I will share it with you.  For the last few months Sayward has been closing her bedroom door tight each night when she goes to bed.  She’s growing up, likes her privacy, sure thing.  But it’s posed a problem for me.  Each night since her birth, I have always gone in to her room before I head to bed for the night, just to check in and whisper that I love her.  But her door is quite noisy…so I haven’t wanted to open it and thus disturb her sleep.  A few weeks ago I mentioned this to her, just in passing, how I had realized that she was growing up.  She offered to leave it open, but I told her it was okay, I was just a sentimental Mama.  You see where this is going?  That’s right….last night when I went upstairs, her door was open.

How I love that girl.

Four babies has truly made me realize that they grow up entirely too fast.  I know every moment is precious.

Ten years ago it was just this tiny baby and I.  I was an eighteen year old single mother, and I had no idea.  I mean, I’d read about labour and birth and baby care, and I had advice from family on how to care for this tiny person.  But what I had no idea of is what a mothers love is all about.  I had no idea it was possible to love like this.  It is the most fantastic thing.

Becoming Saywards mother taught me alot of things.

She has taught me….

That life wasn’t just about me anymore.

That I had to love myself, too.

That a mothers love is unconditional.

That a child’s love for their mother is unconditional as well.

That it’s okay to make mistakes.  When you know better, you do better.

That trusting my mothers instinct is always my best bet.  Ignoring it is never a good idea.

That she is going to grow up.  Too fast.

That saying “yes” is always more fun.

That everyone is created equal and deserves respect.  Children too.

That becoming a mother at eighteen is the best thing that could have happened to me.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

All sappiness aside….we had a bit of fun today.

We had a lovely dinner, complete with green smoothies…..

and good friends…..

And green icecream to go with the cake!

And of course my lovely girl recieved a small handmade gift from her Mama.  Of which I have no picture.  Of course.  Oops.